This morning I ran from where I am staying, house sitting for friends, to my sister's house. It is about 4 miles or so one way. As I jogged leisurely by a house where a couple were enjoying their morning coffee on the porch, I waved. They waved back and the gentleman who was perhaps ten years older than me, offered words of encouragement, "Hang in there! You can do it! Just keep putting on foot in front of the other."
I had no doubt that I could do it. I don't think I've ever had any doubt that I could do it (finish a run that I started). I guess I must look old, tired or too fat. That has to be why people say things like that to me. BECAUSE they do. This is not the first time. I never cease to be surprised when it happens though. I try to assess what I must look like. I wonder if my face looks pained or strained, if my gait looks shuffled or awkward.
Sometimes people have offered that kind of encouragement to me while I've been in the midst of a 15 miler. I laugh inwardly thinking, if they only knew.
Sometimes I want to make a snotty remark, but then, nothing is gained by that kind of negative energy. And they mean well.
I guess I need to lose some more weight and then see if I get remarks like that.
Motivation to get 20 pounds off.
For some reason I am tired today though. When I am tired, sometimes I lose my discipline.
Oops. I have to confess. I just ate three cookie bars from the refrigerator. Yesterday I had an ice cream cone, followed by a piece of fudge. Does it count if I through the rest of the fudge in the trash? Several pieces? The day before that I had a thin slice of chocolate cake with ice cream - my niece had made it about a week before and I found it in my sister's basement refrigerator. It wasn't even fresh anymore. The cake, the fudge, the ice cream....none of those really even tasted good. The cookie bars did though. They are the classic cookie bars that my mother makes as comfort goodies for all our family get together.
So what's up with my behavior? I need to figure this out. I just signed up for a weight loss challenge, under the pseudonym of a body transformation challenge, and here I go sabotaging the effort before I even get started.
Well, I am going to be honest about this kind of thing and see if I can't figure this out. I do agree I am tired. I've had nightmares (or stress dreams, I guess, if those qualify as nightmares) two nights in a row. I think that the stress of being back here in Iowa and taking care of my sister....and the issues my aging parents are having, are starting to wear on me.
What to do? I need to get a handle on this.
No comments:
Post a Comment